Можете проверить, правильно ли составлен текст на английском языке?

Therefore our research group suggests to make Leninsk-Kuznetsky the tourist city. We want to make our city the focus of celebration of Russian folk festivals such as Maslenitsa, Easter, Ivan Kupala, and others. We think that such tourism will draw many foreigners . Now my colleagues will in more detail tell about our idea..... We hope that you will appreciate our idea and provide a grant for implementation of this project.

1. "Now my colleagues will in more detail tell about our idea"
Надо сказать так:      Now my colleagues will be told more detailed about our idea.

2. В остальном — всё правильно, но пропущены 2 запятые.
Для наглядности я подчеркнул 2 слова, между которыми должна быть запятая. 



Therefore, our research group suggests to make Leninsk-Kuznetskythe tourist city. We want to make our city the focus of celebration ofRussian folk festivals,such as Maslenitsa, Easter, Ivan Kupala, andothers. We think that such tourism will draw many foreigners . Now mycolleagues will in more detail tell about our idea..... We hope that youwill appreciate our idea and provide a grant for implementation of thisproject.

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